NICABM – Working with the Pain of Abandonment

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NICABM – Working with the Pain of Abandonment

NICABM - Working with the Pain of Abandonment

Working with Abandonment: 26 Top Experts Share the Latest Strategies to Help Clients Heal

Being abandoned hurts. In the moment, it can feel like you can’t breathe and that life is about to end. And then comes the painful sensations that ripple through the body and fill you with paralyzing panic.

When this happens to a client, they can become fearful of ever experiencing abandonment again. Problem is, they can then develop harmful coping strategies that not only create more pain, but put them at even greater risk of being rejected.

So how do we work with the desperate behavior and hair-trigger nervous system that can make abandonment a self-fulfilling prophecy?

We turned to the world’s 26 top experts to hear how they work with clients who have been abandoned. Here are the latest strategies that you can start using in your work today.

Working with the Pain of Abandonment


How to Work with Clients Who Are Hypersensitive to Rejection

Peter Levine, PhD     Ron Siegel, PsyD
Judson Brewer, MD, PhD     Melanie Greenberg, PhD
  • The specific neural pattern that fuels a fear of abandonment
  • One way to help clients shift out of a rejection-oriented mindset
  • How to work with a client’s panic when being rejected

Key Strategies for Working with Abandonment and Trauma

Bessel van der Kolk, MD     Peter Levine, PhD
Kelly McGonigal, PhD     Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP
Melanie Greenberg, PhD
  • How PTSD can lead to powerful brain schemas that invite rejection from others
  • One practice to help clients with panic disorder regulate their body when triggered by abandonment
  • How trauma-informed neurofeedback can neutralize reactivity to an experience of rejection

How to Approach Shame That Drives a Fear of Rejection

Dan Siegel, MD
  • How the ruminating brain can lock clients into ambivalent relationships that invite shame
  • How to work with clients whose sense of defectiveness fuels a fear of abandonment

How to Recondition a Nervous System Damaged by Abandonment

Stephen Porges, PhD     Deb Dana, LCSW
  • How abandonment leaves a deep tracing on the nervous system (and what this means for treatment)
  • Why the nervous system will often sabotage offers to co-regulate
  • How to help a client’s nervous system tolerate ruptures in a relationship

How to Read the Abandonment Story Your Client’s Body Is Telling

Pat Ogden, PhD     Bonnie Goldstein, PhD     Deb Dana, LCSW
  • How to recognize possible signs of early life abandonment in your client’s body
  • How a client’s physiology can reveal the way they’re managing a fear of abandonment



Ways to Change Fearful Behavior That Sets a Client Up for Further Abandonment

Pat Ogden, PhD     Melanie Greenberg, PhD     Ron Siegel, PsyD
Donald Meichenbaum, PhD     Terry Real, MSW, LICSW
  • Two specific ways a client’s fear of abandonment can become a self-fulfilling prophecy
  • How to reframe a client’s neediness to make it an ally in their healing
  • How to help a client stay regulated when their partner rejects their needs

How to Help Clients Stop Sacrificing Their Boundaries to Avoid Being Abandoned

Joan Borysenko, PhD     Kelly McGonigal, PhD     Ron Siegel, PsyD
Judson Brewer, MD, PhD     Melanie Greenberg, PhD     Pat Ogden, PhD
  • The addiction model that leads a client to soften their boundaries (and how to change it)
  • The painful reason why some clients will gamble away their principles in a relationship
  • Two practical ways to help clients shore up their personal boundaries

A 3-Step Strategy to Expand a Client’s Tolerance of Rejection

Steven Hayes, PhD     Kelly McGonigal, PhD
  • How to help clients engage their fear of abandonment without getting overwhelmed
  • How to adjust your treatment of abandonment when the client dissociates
  • A compassionate strategy to help clients break a paralyzing fear of abandonment

How to Treat A Fear of Abandonment Linked to Betrayal

Shelly Harrell, PhD     Richard Schwartz, PhD     Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
  • One way to reduce the stigma and humiliation a client attaches to their experience of betrayal
  • The damaging way clients often approach decisions when they fear loss

For This Short Course on How to Work with a Client’s Pain of Abandonment, We Brought Together Some of the Top Experts in the Field


Dan Siegel, MD

Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute; Co-Director of UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center; author of Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation and The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration


Bessel van der Kolk, MD

Neuroscientist and Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University Medical School. Author of The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma


Peter Levine, PhD

Founder of Somatic Experiencing; Author of Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past: A Practical Guide for Understanding and Working with Traumatic Memory


Pat Ogden, PhD

Pioneer in Somatic Psychology; Founder and Director of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute (SPI); Co-founder of the Hakomi Institute; Author of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment

Shelly Harrell, PhD

Licensed Psychologist specializing in multicultural and community psychology; A Professor with the Pepperdine Graduate School of Education and Psychology

Joan Borysenko, PhD

Founder of Mind/Body Health Sciences LLC; Author of New York Times Bestseller Minding the Body, Mending the Mind

Stephen Porges, PhD

Developer of Polyvagal Theory; Distinguished University Scientist at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University Bloomington and Research Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at University of North Carolina Chapel Hill

Steven Hayes, PhD

Creator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT); Nevada Foundation Professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Nevada, Reno

Rick Hanson, PhD

Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley; New York Times bestselling author of Hardwiring Happiness and Buddha’s Brain

Ron Siegel, PsyD

Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology, part time, Harvard Medical School; Author of The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems and Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy

Get immediately download NICABM – Working with the Pain of Abandonment

Kelly McGonigal, PhD

Health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University; Author of The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You and How to Get Good At It and The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It

Donald Meichenbaum PhD

Creator of Cognitive Behavioral Modification (CBM); Contributor to the development of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT); author of Roadmap to Resilience: A Guide for Military Trauma Victims and Their Families.

Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT

Founder of the PACT Training Institute and developer of a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT)

Lynn Lyons, LICSW

Author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous & Independent Children, clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in anxiety in adults and children

Deany Laliotis, LICSW

Director of Training at EMDR Institute; Specialist in treatment of traumatic stress disorders and attachment issues; author of chapters and articles on EMDR therapy

Terry Real, MSW, LICSW

Founder of the Relational Life Institute; author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work

Richard Schwartz, PhD

Founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and The Center for Self Leadership

Melanie Greenberg PhD

Clinical Psychologist and Author of The Stress-Proof Brain

Judson Brewer MD PhD

Founder of Claritas MindSciences; Formative leader in combining mindfulness and neurofeedback techniques for working with addiction; Author of The Craving Mind

Michael Yapko, PhD

Leading expert in clinical hypnosis and treating depression; Clinical psychologist and author of 15 books including his newest books, The Discriminating Therapist and Keys to Unlocking Depression


Founder and Director of the Lifespan Psychological Center; Co-author of Understanding, Diagnosing, and Treating AD/HD in Children and Adolescents

Deb Dana LCSW

Coordinator of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute; Developer of the Rhythm of Regulation Clinical Training Series; author of Polyvagal Theory in Therapy

Resmaa Menakem MSW LICSW SEP

Expert on conflict and violence; Teacher of Cultural Somatics; Former Director of Counseling Services for the Tubman Family Alliance; Former Behavioral Health Director for African American Family Services in Minneapolis

Onno van der Hart PhD

Psychotraumatologist and Emeritus Professor of Psychopathology of Chronic Trauma; Co-Author of Treating Trauma-Related Dissociation and co-author of The Haunted Self

Laurel Parnell, PhD

Leading expert in Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR); Author of Attachment-Focused EMDR: Healing Relational Trauma

Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT

Co-developer of Solution-Oriented Therapy; Psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways to Change Your Life

Here’s What You’ll Get:

Everything is yours to keep forever in your professional library

Check mark Downloadable videos so you can watch at your convenience, on any device
Check mark Audio recordings you can download and listen to at home, in the car, at the gym or wherever you like
Check mark Professionally-formatted transcripts of the sessions, to make review and action simple
Check mark Three downloadable bonus videos to help you work with a Client’s Pain of Abandonment

Get 3 Bonuses That Give You Even More Strategies for Working with a Client’s Pain of Abandonment

Bonus 1

Bonus 1

How to Work with Children Who Have Separation Anxiety

Pat Ogden, PhD     Stephen Porges, PhD
Lynn Lyons, LICSW     Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT
  • The parenting paradox that can often lead to insecure children
  • How to adjust external reassurances during a separation to fit the child
  • Two factors that have the greatest impact on a child’s ability to separate from their parents
  • How to reframe a child’s fear so they can problem solve and become more flexible in life

Bonus 2

Bonus 2

How to Establish Strong Therapist-Patient Boundaries with Clients Who Have Been Abandoned

Deany Laliotis, LICSW     Pat Ogden, PhD     Judson Brewer, MD, PhD
Deb Dana, LCSW     Onno van der Hart, PhD
  • 5 strategies to help clients heal from abandonment without sacrificing therapeutic boundaries
  • How to structure between-session contact that nourishes the client’s nervous system while honoring clinical boundaries
  • How the practitioner-patient therapy model could be amplifying a client’s fear of abandonment (and how to adjust it)
  • How to foster healthy co-regulation with clients without compromising your boundaries

Bonus 3

Bonus 3

How to Repair Early Life Abandonment Through EMDR

Laurel Parnell, PhD
  • A two-prong approach with EMDR to help clients heal from both trauma and a negative attachment history
  • A powerful visualization exercise that can help clients repair painful areas of abandonment in their development

Starting Today, This Program Can Change the Way You Practice

. . . I feel so fortunate to have this access to brain power, experience and research synthesis . . .

“When I listen to the experts talk openly about their experience, I feel so fortunate to have this access to brain power, experience and research synthesis on cutting edge issues! I go back to the videos to reinforce things that will assist my clients.”
Mary Logan, Counselor
Ipswich, MA

I benefit, my practice benefits, and most important my clients benefit . . .

“I live in Nova Scotia and have limited travel funds at the university at which I work. The series provided by NICABM gives me the rare opportunity to listen to the leaders in the field. As a result, I learn valuable information that would not otherwise be available to me. I benefit, my practice benefits, and most important my clients benefit from the knowledge and wisdom I gain from the series.”
David Mensink, PhD Counseling Psychology, Psychologist
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

. . . some dare to go the extra journey to research and educate

“These NICABM series keep me afloat, in touch, on track, well trained in my field, and more personally healthy. The best aspect, though, is that I feel validated and comforted knowing that some dare to go the extra journey to research and educate, so I can walk the path to health, and can share with others.”
Mary Corsello-Vilcheck, LCSW
Midlothian, VA

Course Director
Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Dr. Ruth Buczynski is a licensed psychologist and founder and president of The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM). NICABM helps physicians, nurses, psychologists, social workers, and counselors – practitioners who have some of the most significant and life-changing missions on the planet – provide cutting-edge, research-based treatment strategies to their patients. For more than 25 years, NICABM has offered accredited training and professional development programs to thousands of practitioners worldwide.

Why the Transcript Is Essential:

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The transcript makes it easy to go back and double check concepts, citations and names that are mentioned
We put in a table of contents to make it easy for you to find the exact part of the webinar you need
Having the concepts already written allows you to take notes on how you’re going to use the ideas rather than transcribing the ideas
Some people simply learn better by reading than by listening or watching
You will be able to print out and share techniques presented in the session with your patients

Angela Lawrence

“I really liked being able to follow along with the transcripts as I listened…it was nice not to feel like I had to take notes. I really feel like I remember more when I both hear and see at the same time.”
Mary Ellen McNaughton, Masters in Counseling, Psychology Counselor
Kelowna, British Colombia, Canada

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NICABM|NICABM – Working with the Pain of Abandonment|Working with the Pain of Abandonment

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