Self Discipline – Kevin Hogan

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$297   $42 – Self Discipline – Kevin Hogan

How Do You Get People to Back You?

If you want to get people to back you, you want to start winning.

How do you win?

It begins with attempts to win.

Then it’s about winning at different aspects of life or higher levels of whatever it was you won the first time.

Confidence generalizes to other areas of life (which is why a 10 year old who is a math whiz can be sure he is a great air hockey player.)

In politics, winning early primaries and even being announced as a winner on the east coast when the polls close, affects whether people will vote or not at all on the west coast.

If you want people to back you, you want to WIN EARLY. WIN FAST.

Do well out of the chute.

Build momentum quickly and then keep it moving.

Ideal confidence is the confidence you have when you think about whether or not you should go to the grocery store and then go.

You decide to go to the grocery store…you go…you shop… you come home…you put away the groceries….you are done.

Didn’t require….much of any thinking.

That’s what ideal confidence is.

You were certain you’d get to the grocery store, get the groceries and come home. You never doubted it. You weren’t cocky about going to the grocery store, you simply KNEW you were going to go, get there, shop and return.

That feeling of KNOWING is confidence.

Trump has shown that face for years. So did Obama in the elections he easily won and throughout most of his presidency. Both men ooze certainty in diametrically opposite fashion. Confidence is contagious and it is a key attribute of winning in life.

There is a great deal of comfort in entrusting your life to someone who has KNOWINGNESS….to someone who knows they are going to the grocery store.

This someone doesn’t treat going to the grocery store with unnecessary affirmations.

  • “I believe in myself.”
  • “I believe I can get to the grocery store.”
  • “I believe I can shop.”
  • “I believe I can get home.”
  • “I believe I am a successful person.”

Screw that.

Would YOU VOTE FOR THAT PERSON? Would you want to be that person?

Obviously not.

So don’t BE THAT person.

The next element of building confidence in yourself and others that LASTS?

Get Self Discipline – Kevin Hogan, Only Price $57

Want to make people feel confident in your abilities…in their own abilities?

Make the people around you feel secure. The baby who is secure and confident moves quietly and confidently looking all around HER environment.

The terrified child clings to Mom and stay there.

This child was unable to walk. When we went to the orphanage, I decided I wanted him to take his first steps.

He did!

In order to do that he has to see your certainty. For anyone who has not done something before, they are going to experience fear and/or discomfort when first attempting those “steps.” In this case this beautiful little one took three steps. There is a certainty transfer from brain to brain, mind to mind. It is very real.

Want to make people feel that they have the flexibility to create and develop new ideas and techniques?

Cause them to feel secure.

When my daughter was two and three we’d go to Barnes and Noble. I’d sit her in the kids’ section after helping her grab a bunch of cool books.

I’d then walk out of the kids’ section and go to a nearby section. Usually fiction…closest to the kids’ section. I’d watch her…she’d check up on me regularly. Then I’d disappear into business or psychology. She’d come running. She’d find me very quickly and stand by me and watch me scan through books.

As soon as she was certain I was not leaving, she’d head back and sit in “her chair” in the kids’ section. She’d certain Dad doesn’t leave. Dad’s doing the same thing she’s doing.

Little did she know about every 30 seconds I’d peek around the shelves and make sure she was OK.

I wasn’t really confident and I don’t trust the world in general, so I keep a close watch, but like a good detective, you wouldn’t catch me…at least she didn’t.

She developed a love for going to Barnes and Noble. Eventually she’d shove me out of the kids’ section and tell me to go read “your books, Daddy.”

Whatever…20 years later she’ll receive her doctorate in Psychology in 2017. Correlation? Causal factor? Who knows!? And it makes no difference. She went to the grocery store.

To finish the story… When she asked me to leave her section of the bookstore I’d do just that.

Pretty soon we’d go to Barnes and Noble and she’d say, “I’ll see you later, Daddy.” Then she’d hit the floor running straight back to the kids’ section and pull all “her books” off the shelves.

She had developed ideal confidence.

She knew this was a safe environment and that her Dad wasn’t going anywhere. She knew she was safe and secure.

THAT child, that kid, that person is the perfect salesperson. They have pure and real confidence. Certainty.

Just like going to the grocery store.

How Do YOU Make OTHER People Feel Secure?

You…

  1. Praise authentically when earned at each opportunity.
  2. Reward them randomly.
  3. Give them projects that have responsibility and accountability and let them succeed.
  4. Tell them you expect them to succeed. (and don’t be stupid about it.)

“Get this done by tomorrow at noon.”

The request should be slightly unreasonable.

The person needs to think, “You mean Kevin really believes I can do this by noon tomorrow, he has lost his mind. Who does he think he is. Putting this kind of pressure and workload on me….”

Yep.

THIS is how you get the best out of people.

The person never wondered WHETHER THEY COULD DO IT.

They got ANGRY because they were given TOO MUCH. Both Kevin and THE REQUEST were unreasonable.

There was no fear.

There was irritation.

That’s ideal confidence.

Same thing as saying, “OK, get to the grocery store, buy all the groceries on this list and be back in 45 minutes. That’s when I’m heading to the show. If you want to go, you are here. Bye.”

There is NO CHANCE for someone to WONDER if I “believe in them.” Because I don’t. I either know or I don’t know…

There is not even a mental visit to WONDER-LAND.

It’s just going to get done.

End of story.

Like going to the grocery store….

People who do affirmations need apply. They have no confidence and lasting confidence can’t be built from repeating wishes or dreams over and over again.

How Do You Instill Confidence in YOURSELF?

What if this person that needs unshakable confidence is… YOU?

Do all of the above.

(Stop, read, reread and think about just how you want to do that!)

Confident people often become confident by successfully solving problems.

People often lose their confidence by failing…but there is much more to it than just this. Look at what happens when confidence is an affirmation or one idea, one stop experience.

Lack of self confidence is really about distrust in the self.

If you’re doing affirmations, you don’t trust yourself.

If you’re going to the grocery store, you’re going shopping and returning with the groceries. You wrote down your goals (what to buy) and then you took the list and left. No big planning ordeal. No big review of the goals. You just go to the damn grocery store and buy what is on the list.

That’s IT.

One of the best things you can do when all else fails is start seeing something as a problem needing resolution INSTEAD of whether YOU are CAPABLE or not.

If you talk about whether you are capable, “I’m just as capable as a man,” you can rest assured you aren’t going to behave that way. People who are capable don’t think in terms of their capability and they never compare their capability with others.

“I can go to the grocery store as well as any black guy, or white guy.”

“I can bring home the groceries as well as any man or woman.”

Yeah…I’ll hire the person who does NOT have to convince themselves about their capability.

You want to REALLY be thinking whether or not you are CAPABLE?

Don’t talk abut stuff like this.

JUST DO IT.

What if you become afraid and your self confidence wavers?

First of all fear is not a big deal.

Everyone experiences fear.

When you experience fear, you walk INTO THE FEAR.

You don’t try and talk fear away or pray to God to take away the fear.

YOU WALK INTO THE FEAR.

That’s how you cope with fear.

Stop panicking by DOING.

Start solving the problems that are here now.

“Unwarranted fear is the closed door that stops progress toward that which we want in life and it is the door that closes on self-confidence.” Kevin Hogan

In Napoleon Hill’s encyclopedia of personal achievement called The Law of Success, Hill compellingly postulated that there are six basic fears that stand in the way of you and self confidence.

  • The fear of Poverty
  • The fear of Old Age
  • The fear of Criticism
  • The fear of the Loss of Love of Someone
  • The fear of Ill Health
  • The fear of Death

Overcoming these fears leads directly to being able to build the foundation of self-confidence. There are many opposites and antonyms of fear. Some of these are: confidence, security, love and trust.

People who have a high level of self-confidence are not afraid to go out and “do it now.”

People with a high level of self confidence aren’t afraid ENOUGH to let the fear STOP THEM.

They may have no more skill or competence than anyone else, but going out and doing “it” is no problem because they are certain they will succeed. They are less afraid of making mistakes and utilize more opportunities to succeed than those who have low self confidence.

Self confident people, on average, probably make FAR more mistakes than those who are not self confident, but they probably have far more success than the norm because of their certainty in themselves. They make more life attempts and they win more games.

Confidence and competence should not be confused, of course.

There is an enormous population of competent people who are not self- confident. Some competent people simply worry that they will fail once in awhile and therefore they spend time trying to become perfect so they don’t make any mistakes when they set out on a new project or try to find a new relationship.

Perfection is impossible and making very few mistakes can only happen if you use very few opportunities. Therefore in order to develop self confidence you want to allow yourself the experience of making a mistake or even failing once in awhile. Even failing all the time…because frankly, who cares. Failing is a requirement of daily life.

There is a certain charismatic quality that exudes from people who are self-confident.

You will almost always notice a sense of attraction, an almost magnetic quality toward people who have confidence in themselves. People who are comfortable with themselves and able to make a mistake are people who we feel comfortable with.

People with self confidence don’t say,

  • “I believe in myself.”
  • “I believe I can do grocery shopping.”
  • “I’m as good at grocery shopping as any woman.”
  • “I’m as ………………………”

SHUT UP.

“Hey Kev, I’m heading to the grocery store. I have the list, I’ll be back in 44 minutes.”

End of story.

So what if the person is afraid?

That’s OK.

They are DOING what they are FEARFUL of and THAT GENERATES ENORMOUS SELF-CONFIDENCE.

Course Corrections

You can have the same experience. In a fashion we all can be like airplane pilots. We set our course then we take off. We get off course and we have the opportunity to get back on course.

Certainly, most people don’t get back on course, and many people don’t set a course in the first place. You don’t have to be like most people, though. You can begin to take control of your life and set your course. You can allow yourself to fly off course and then re-set yourself and get back on course, knowing that if you stay focused you will get to where you want to go. It takes a lot of self-confidence, though.

You must be able to allow yourself to drift off course and make mistakes.

You must allow yourself to be able to correct yourself mid-flight and not try to make everything perfect from the start. There has never been a flight plan where a plane didn’t go off course in mid-flight.

There simply are too many variables to control from before take- off. Be like a great pilot. Plan well, be safe, be secure, be prepared and then take-off. Make corrections and adjustments as you fly toward your destination knowing that you will get there!

What if you just can’t get to the grocery store?

Is there anything you can do without wimping out into affirmation mode?

Circle of Confidence

The Circle of Confidence is one of my favorite hypnotic experiences that creates change quickly.

Imagine that you would like to have dynamic self-confidence in certain situations. For example, the next time you go to talk with your boss or go on all of your sales calls you might want to have self confidence that makes you virtually unstoppable.

The Circle of Confidence will help you move toward this powerful experience. Follow the process below and you will experience high powered self confidence today!

  1. Stand up in such a way that you have at least four feet in front of you and two feet of floor space behind you.
  2. As you stand up, close your eyes and return to a time when you felt totally self-confident. Return to one specific event where you had the self confidence that you would like to have when you are going to need it most. As you think about this experience, imagine that you are back in your body at that time…and that you see what you saw then, hear what you heard and feel what you felt. Be there now…
  3. When you feel totally self-confident, imagine a circle encircles your feet where you are standing now. The circle can be any color at all…What color is it for you?
  4. As the feelings of self-confidence begin to fade, step backward, one step, out of the circle and let all of the feelings of self confidence stay in the circle, waiting for you to step back in.
  5. Take a deep breath as you step forward into the circle, bringing in all of the feelings of self confidence that you had left here and that you can take forward with you out of the circle when you are prepared to go forward.
  6. Feel those feelings of self-confidence and notice how you change inside. Notice how your posture changes. Notice how your breathing changes. Notice how you feel.
  7. Step backward out of the circle, leaving all of the feelings of self-confidence within the circle…as you can only take them forward with you, not backward.
  8. Notice the change and the lack of self-confidence that is behind the circle.
  9. Take a deep breath as you step forward into the circle. Feel all of the feelings that the circle is there to give to you. Soon you will be able to take them forward with you into specific situations.
  10. Think of a trigger to trigger off these feelings. Maybe you see a door handle in front of you…and maybe that is the door to your next sales call or your boss’s office. From this moment forward when you see a door handle or a doorknob…or even a door or entry way, you will see and feel your circle of confidence under you and then you can walk forward through the door with unshakable self-confidence.
  11. Now, walk forward out of the circle and bring those feelings with you as you open the door that you see within your mind’s eye. Good!

It’s pretty cool…

Who Do You Know that Has Great Confidence?

We all know someone who we would like to be like in some way. Whether the person is a celebrity, a friend or an acquaintance we all see good qualities in some other people. The quality of confidence is one we are drawn to. We all are interested in people who have that sense of comfortable certainty about them. Using a similar tool of hypnosis that we did in the Circle of Confidence exercise, we can bring in the characteristics another person holds, into our self as well. In some ways this is like modeling other people. The process works pretty well and you can use it anywhere you are.

And what if you want to start even at a more elementary level?

Confidence Modeling

  1. Think of someone that has a high level of confidence, whom you know or know quite a bit about. This should be someone you would like to be like in some ways. Close your eyes and think of that person now.
  2. See that person in your mind’s eye behaving in a confident manner. Notice how they move, how they carry themselves, how their face and eyes look. What is their posture like? Notice how they walk. Notice how they use their hands.
  3. Notice how they interact with other people. Notice how they communicate with others. Notice the words they say and the way they talk. What are their vocal intonations like?
  4. Imagine that person is standing in front of you now. Imagine that you can take one step forward and walk “into” them and take on all of their qualities of confidence and certainty. Imagine they are like a hologram. They are right there in front of you just waiting to share their space with you!
  5. Imagine that person is one step in front of you and you can feel the confidence emanating from them. You can see, feel and hear them communicating with certainty and clarity. They are comfortable with everything and everyone around them.
  6. When you can actually feel the confidence they exude, take one step forward and let them merge into you taking on all of their confidence and sense of inner strength.
  7. Take another step forward and notice that those feelings now stay with you and it allows you to feel even more confident and self assured. You don’t just feel self-confident, you ARE self-confident.
  8. With this new experience and feeling of self-confidence, look around in your mind’s eye and see who there is to communicate with so you can take advantage of this newfound confidence.
  9. Notice how people respond to the more confident and more comfortable you.
  10. Decide if this is how you would like to be and act from now on. If it is, take one more step forward and feel the feelings and experience of self-confidence permeate every fiber of your being…now…good.
  11. When you open your eyes you can bring these feelings and discoveries with you into your everyday experience, knowing that you can always add another person’s inner strength into your own. You can let go of this individual’s confidence by simply stepping three steps backward and releasing those feelings at will.
  12. Now open your eyes. Take one, two, three steps forward and be as confident as you now are and desire to be from this day forward…

And finally, if you’d like a metaphor to permanently etch into your brain….read this…slowly.

Imagery for Confidence Building

“Close your eyes and take a deep breath in…and hold…and release…take another deep breath in…and hold…and release…good…”

“The mountain has been calling you for years…you have been afraid for so long to climb the mountain for so many reasons…you have wanted to see the view of everything that is from the peak of the mountain…you have wanted to know something other than the meadow… which… although beautiful…and familiar…is only the meadow…and you have been coming here for years and years and years…and once again you see the mountain…but you have always been afraid…Sure those that ascend the mountain came back wiser…and happier…and healthier…but it could take a long time to climb the mountain…experience the mountain and come back down changed…a long time…

“From the meadow you can see the peak of the mountain…the snow pack around the top…and you know that there are overlook points on the mountain that would allow you to see…with clarity…all that is around you…for miles and miles and miles…but it is so far up to the overlook points…and the meadow is, after all, a beautiful place to come to…

“You wonder what would happen if you fell and hurt yourself or became exhausted from climbing…it could be a very frustrating experience…you imagine…yet…you know that it would change your life…but you would feel the pain of the trek…the pain and the effort to climb the mountain is enormous…the experience isn’t even certain…you may get up there and be fogged in for a day or a week or more before you can experience the view…the clarity of vision…the insights that you seek…so why not stay in the meadow…it’s pretty here…after all…

“You look up and the mountain calls. It has been calling you for years…but part of you is afraid…you would look down and you would feel like you might fall…you would probably lose your grip and hurt yourself like you did when you tripped in the meadow the other day…

“…and then you wonder what would happen if, maybe, you simply kept your eyes on the peak and didn’t look back…what would happen if you stayed focused on the peak like a target and simply continued regardless of the elements…after all, you know that eventually you would get to the top if you climbed just a little bit every day…and even if you slipped and tripped you could always get back up, even in pain and continue on…knowing that you would make it…just because you decided you would make it…and it might be foggy…and you might not see anything…but then you don’t see anything from the meadow…there is no clarity here either…you can’t see all that is from here…so staying here…in the meadow is no different from climbing the mountain and being fogged in…

“You decide you will do it…you will keep your eyes focused on the peak…you will climb the mountain carefully and with the certainty that you will reach the top…and that everyone at some point in their life must make the trek out…to see what is “up there.

“You collect your backpack and all of the tools and utensils you will need for the adventure…and you begin your climb…

…….Now, go to the grocery store and bring back the groceries!

From the desk of Dr. Kevin Hogan…

It may now be possible to instantly install Charisma, Self-Discipline, Personal Mastery

Personal Mastery is the #1 characteristic women look for in a man… and the top trait sought by corporate head hunters…

Charisma is critical if you want to achieve greatness as lover, leader, anything. 45 things you can do now to be loved… respected…desired…

Self-Discipline is the lynch-pin… the key. Without it, you can’t achieve… success. Don’t lose out on life. New method makes self-discipline as difficult as tying your shoes…

Dear reader,

There are only two ways to improve your self-discipline. The hard way… and the easy way.

Prove it to yourself now. What’s the success rate of the average New Year’s Resolution? If you want to succeed in keeping your resolution, you would have to consciously repeat the new behavior for weeks, months… forever… to make it ‘stick.’ That’s the hard way.

The easy way harnesses the same mechanism used above, but in a new way…

Take a closer look. These behaviors are rooted in the brain. The brain controls everything, from breathing to moving to thought. And when we form habits, they are mirrored in the brain. In other words, the brain actually forms patterns… neural circuitry… that perpetuate the behavior.

Especially if it’s bad.

Wire it into your Brain

There is, as it turns out, a way to take advantage of this circuitry. If you can get your brain to “lock in” one behavior, why not install another?

As a matter of fact, you can. And you can do it much faster than trying to force a new behavior. The trick”

$297   $42 – Self Discipline – Kevin Hogan


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